I sat in the new fresh house tonight and enjoyed its newness, fresh smells and untouched beauty. Then I realized that when we move our family in- all of the newness will be gone. Eventually, a child will put a hole in a wall or mark on the floor. Maybe it won't even be a child...! As much as I love the way the house is, I know that moving us in will make it a home. Many people have said that we will so much fun, we will make memories, etc. My response...? We have always had fun. We have always made memories.
We will have more space. I hope that we will be cleaner and more organized. Yet, as I looked at my tornado struck living quarters that have become an embarrassment to all- I know that we will still live in whatever abode we inhabit. I am sure that you are scratching your head now thinking, "What is she saying?"
We will always live in the abode that we inhabit. My house will always have that 'feel.' The one that says, "Hey- we live here. We work here. And because we do a lot of both of those activities- this is what it looks like."
I love visiting other women's homes. Many of them are so neat and tidy. They do not have things littering all of their counter tops. They do not have dirty dishes piled in the sink and laundry piled so high that you can't see past it in the wash room. I stand amazed at their ability. As a recovering perfectionist, I try not to focus on their abilities for too long- my self-esteem cannot take the beating that comes from it.
"I live in a home that has children who are home schooled. I live in a home that has children who are heavily involved in 4-H."
If you ever walk by me in public and hear me muttering- this is probably what I am saying- over and over. It has become my mantra. Everything that I do in this life is for my family. If my home has to look lived in in order to walk where I am walking, so be it. Yet, it is not always that easy. There are times that I just want to pull the children out of their activities, send them to school (any school will do) and sleep (no, just kidding- I mean clean.) I do clean but it never lasts. Ever. Every time I mop the kitchen- someone walks across it in dirty boots or drops their koo-aid. Every time. Mathematically, that should not happen. Yet it does. Makes you wonder, huh?
I hate to admit this but this is the third night in a row that I have sat down and posted on this blog. Maybe someday I will finish it? How can it take that long to write one blog? You may question. Well. let me tell you...
I have been so busy with the kids' activities that I never sit. I never eat. I just run kids from point A to point B and back. That and sleep. I sit at night for one minute and fall directly asleep. No wonder the house looks like the hoarders have taken over. Really. At any second I expect that a TV crew will show up on my door looking to kick through my mess. The issue here? I actually have perfectionist tendencies... So you get a glimpse of my dilemma.
The kids are having a great summer I think. They do not get a lot of time to swim. They do not sit a whole lot. We work a lot together. We learn a lot. I believe that it is good. We did go camping last weekend. It was so much fun. The pool was our favorite. For whatever reason, we prefer the pool over the lake.
I have started to move our school supplies to the new house. I cannot wait to get my hands on it to organize. That kind of thing is really fun for me- kinda weird I know. I have been debating about how to get the kids to put things in their rightful places and have come to the conclusion that only shock collars will be powerful enough to send the right message. Don't tell CPS...
Really, we have had a great summer. Very hot, very busy but very great. I wish that I had enough time to tell you about all of it. I am going to stop writing this particular blog and move on next time. Hope that all is well for you~